Friday, August 26, 2011

Scars (1/1)

His plan, as was so often the case, went somewhat awry.

Todd questioned the wisdom of what he’d done. Eight years strapped to a chair meant that his tolerance for alcohol had waned quite a bit. He was actually counting on that but he wondered how much this was going to hurt in the morning.

Hopefully, Blair would be kind.

She was certainly more than accommodating when it came to his spending time with Jack. She had been encouraging that from the moment she found out the truth. Jack was less than enthusiastic about spending any time whatsoever with ‘Scarface’ which earned him frosty glares from his mother and warnings to mind his manners.

When the two of them started squabbling about Manning manners and the lack thereof and what that had resulted in recently, Todd stepped in and requested that Blair give Jack a break.

Jack turned on Todd and viciously spat at him not to tell his mother what to do. He then seemed to realize that he had talked himself into a corner by defending his mother’s requests to be reasonable. With a sulky sigh, he sat down on the couch and had a stilted, resentful conversation with his father.

After about 45 minutes of circular conversation where Jack bit off angry retorts under Blair’s watchful, stern gaze and replaced them with as many monosyllabic responses as he could, Jack asked Blair for permission to go upstairs and play video games.

Blair nodded her head before intercepting her son and engulfing him in a hug. “I know this is hard,” she murmured to him. “But it’s going to be so worth it.”

Jack mumbled a good night and dodged Todd completely before sprinting upstairs to his room.

“It’s going to take time,” Blair said. “And this is a pretty difficult age in the best of times.”

Todd shrugged then eyed the liquor cabinet. The idea had barely formed in his head before he was up and digging a bottle of Scotch out of the back of the bottom shelf.

Blair didn’t say anything as he poured himself a few fingers and downed it with one gulp. It burned and he squeezed his eyes shut before pouring another and doing the same. When he poured his third glass, Blair materialized next to him and placed a hand on his arm. “Slow down, Todd.”

Her voice was so gentle. He closed his eyes and turned to face her before opening them to look at her.

“I can’t drive like this.”

One eyebrow lifted delicately. Yeah, she saw through him. “I can call you a cab.”

“Or you can put me up for the night.”

Her chin lifted ever so slightly in defiance.

“Dorian and Kelly are both gone, it’s not like you don’t have the room.”

The faint touch of her hand on his arm disappeared as she folded her arms and tilted her head just so.

“You afraid of what your boyfriend’s gonna say?”

She scowled. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

A-ha. “So, what’s the problem?”

“I just... I don’t want the boys to get the wrong idea. This is all so confusing.”

He couldn’t help it. He had to laugh. “Pure, chaste Blair,” he teased. “You don’t want Jack and Sam thinking you’re that kind of girl?”

One hand lashed out and whapped him on the shoulder. “Knock it off. It was certainly an excuse you liked to pull on me when Starr was little.”

“Well, like you said things are confusing enough,” Todd said, ignoring that little bit of history. “Jack and Sam aren’t going to be any more put out if I’m in a guest room in a completely different wing from you.” He turned and quickly downed the third Scotch. “I am in no shape to drive, Blair. Are you just going to kick me out? Have a heart!”

“I don’t even think that stuff has hit you yet,” Blair scoffed.

“Believe me, it has.” Todd shook his head, poured another drink and gave it to her before giving himself a fourth. This time, he sat down on the couch and prepared to savor it. “Eight years, Blair.”

“I know,” she said softly. “I’m sorry.” She moved towards him and clinked her glass against his. “To coming home, hm?”

“To coming home.”

They both took a sip in silence. Todd leaned his head back against the couch while Blair moved over to the French doors that led to the patio and pool area.

“The days are getting shorter,” she commented, looking at the long shadows cast across the pool. “Guess I’m going to have to get all the contacts out to take care of the house now that Dorian’s off to Washington.”

“Think she’ll stay there?” Todd asked hoping very much that she would.

“As long as she wants to, she’ll be there,” Blair laughed. “Then she’ll decide she wants to do something else.” She opened the doors and a cool evening breeze wandered in. “It’s nice out, it will be a beautiful night.” She set her glass down and shrugged off her jacket, tossing it onto a nearby chair. The chemise she wore under it bared her arms, shoulders and much of her back.

Todd got up from the couch and moved closer to admire the view while her back was turned. If he hadn’t been so intent on studying her, he probably wouldn’t have noticed it but... there it was.

“Blair?”

“Hm?”


“What’s that?”

“What’s what?” She turned slightly to look at him questioningly. When she saw where he was staring, she turned completely, backing up against one of the French doors. There was a strange look in her eyes.

“On your back,” Todd frowned. “Is that a scar?”

“It’s nothing,” she snapped, draining her drink and heading back to get a refill.

Todd grabbed her arm as she went past him and turned her so he could look again. “That’s a scar. That’s not nothing.” He let as Blair jerked free. “You didn’t have that eight years ago.”

“I didn’t have a lot of things eight years ago,” Blair growled. “Time passes. Shit happens.”

“What happened to you?” Todd asked. “What is that?”

She turned to face him again and her eyes traveled down his body to rest deliberately on his abdomen. Specifically where he carried a scar of his own.

His hand automatically went to that old wound and he felt his breathing turn shallow. “Someone stabbed you?” Todd asked.

She took another drink, and tossed her hair, bravado coming off of her in waves. “Not someone... the same one who stabbed you. There.” She nodded towards that spot.

Todd shook his head. “Powell? What? How?! Why?!”

“Why else?” Blair batted her eyes and clasped her hands in front of her, still holding onto her glass. “Because I was mean to precious, helpless, widdle Marty!” She took another drink and her eyes turned venomous. “Powell tried to murder me, twice, for the sake of that pathetic, parasitic bitch! But, hey, what’s a little blood spilt in the name of keeping Marty’s legacy as the Eternal Victim pure, right?”

Todd felt like he’d been sucker punched. “I can’t believe this...” Powell came back? “How did that even happen? He was supposed to be locked up in a loony bin.”

“Rebecca was helping him,” Blair said bluntly.

If he thought he was sucker punched before that was nothing compared to now. “What?!”

Blair stared at him evenly.

“Aw hell,” Todd ran his fingers through his hair. “I thought she got away from all that, you know? I figured she was just out there... somewhere in the world... happy. I really just wanted her to be happy.”

Blair wavered at that, looking away outside the doors into the encroaching darkness. “I’m sorry, Todd.”

“Where is she now?”

She shook her head, pressing her lips together. She really didn’t want to be the one to tell him this. Unfortunately, the die was cast. “I’m sorry, Todd.”

Todd felt cold as realization swept over him. “No... no, Blair, you’re not saying that she’s...” He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. He finished his drink and dove for the bar to pour another one.

Blair’s hand fell on his wrist, stilling it. “I’m sorry, Todd.”

“Stop saying that.”

“No,” she whispered. “Because I am sorry.” She gripped his arms and turned him towards her then reached up to gently touch her hand to his scarred cheek. “Rebecca is gone and I’m sorry for your sake. I know she meant a lot to you.”

He leaned into her hand, closing his eyes, and felt her move closer and wrap her arms around him. Todd felt a shuddering sigh escape him. He needed this... he needed his woman to care about him again. He needed her to show it.

She was.

“It’s like everything I ever cared about just gets ruined,” he whispered.

Blair pulled back and he opened his eyes to see her green ones boring into him sternly. “You’re not blaming yourself for this,” it was more of a statement than a question.

“Come on,” he shrugged out of her embrace and stepped back. “Rebecca was this innocent thing. She was like an angel...” he glanced at Blair and caught her ‘give me a break’ expression. “She was! And then I drag her into my world and look what happens.”

“You know, Todd,” Blair replied patiently. “I understand that Rebecca meant a lot to you. I remember those days very well but I’ve got to say it, you don’t just taint someone by knowing them. Rebecca was not a strong girl. She had ideals, yes, but there was something twisted in her. You don’t get involved with two rapists without having something twisted inside of you. It just doesn’t happen like that.”

“Oh, you’re one to talk,” Todd snapped. “What does it say about you with the men you’ve been involved with?”

Blair rolled her eyes. “No one ever called me an angel.”

“No one ever will, either.”

“Thanks for the reminder, Todd” Blair snarled. “Good to know I can count on you to keep me in my place.” She tossed her head. “My record speaks for itself. And no one has ever tried to pin me to some lofty example, thank God. Doesn’t seem to do anybody any good. Your sweet, innocent angel Rebecca threw her lot in with crazy Powell to kill people and kidnap our granddaughter. You didn’t make her team up with Powell. She did that all on her own!

“And speaking of,” Blair continued. “Look at Powell! Are you going to hold yourself responsible for his brand of crazy, too? Sorry, sugar, that didn’t start with you... your whole family’s nuts! Powell comes after me in my own home, in my bathroom, and tries to stab me to death in my shower?! Like that’s even remotely normal? And all to honor Marty?”

Blair was on a roll that was for sure. Todd found his mood lifting despite what she was telling him. It had just been so long since he’d seen Blair on a tear and even longer since she was on a tear defending him. He was still deeply sad about Rebecca’s fate but watching Blair get fiery and angry for his sake took a lot of the sting away.

“Come on, though, it’s not like Marty would ask him to do that, Blair.” That ought to keep her going.

“Are you sure?” Blair spat out. “Because Marty succeeded in killing one person and tried to kill two more, Kelly and Natalie, and kidnapped a baby before your brother and Tomas spirited her out of town. After years of living on her Martyr Victim status she finally reacquainted herself and this stinking town with the real Marty! A spoiled, entitled, crazy piece of rich girl trash!”

He was perverse because the rush of desire for Blair at that moment stunned even him.

Blair shook herself out of rant mode. “God, this is ridiculous,” she reached out to steady herself against Todd as she unbuckled the strap of her heels. “I’m so tired of the over-whelming amount of crap that goes on in this town.” She pulled her shoe off and went for the other one.

Todd was always taken aback somewhat at how much shorter Blair was without those heels of hers. She was still taller than a lot of women but he was so used to her crazy stilettos that she looked almost delicate when she went barefoot.

The Scotch had definitely settled in to stay awhile. He felt that delightful fuzzy feeling wash over him and stared stupidly at Blair when he noticed her shimmying out of her pants until she was standing there in her chemise and panties. “What are you doing?”

“Having some fun!” Blair ran out the open doors and Todd heard a splash follow shortly after.

He followed to see Blair treading water in the pool.

“How long has it been since you had any fun, Todd?” Blair asked from the water. “Longer than eight years.”

This temptress had always been able to get him to do things like this... sled down hills on trays, dance, laugh, enjoy life. Todd found himself stripping down to his underwear and jumping in. The water was cool, a little too cool now that the sun was down, but he relished it. Years being locked up, strapped down, starved, tortured and he was floating in water under a late summer night sky with Blair’s low throaty laugh in his ears.

He was alive and free.

And in this moment, he was happy.

Blair dove under the water and popped up a few feet away, wiping water from her eyes and laughing the whole time. “Oh, this feels good,” she sighed. “So good...”

Todd swam to where his feet touched the bottom, then reached out and grabbed Blair, pulling her to him and kissing her. A surprised squeak escaped her but after a moment she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his.

Yes. He was happy.

When they parted breathlessly, Todd felt dizzy. Was it the kiss or the Scotch? He wasn’t sure.

“Are you okay?”

“Spinning...”

“Oh, Lord,” Blair nudged him towards the shallow end. “Do not puke in the pool!”

“And you didn’t think it had hit me,” he mumbled as he crawled out of the water. He knelt there on his hands and knees, catching his breath and holding himself together.

Strangely enough, he was still happy. Eight years in a secret para-military prison being tortured daily made you appreciate a hell of a lot more things in life.

“It’s been awhile since I could drink you under the table so easy,” Blair chuckled, helping him to his feet. “You’re a real cheap date, you know that?”

“Cheap and easy,” Todd slung an arm around her. “Wanna go upstairs?”

“Oh we’re going upstairs, big guy,” she assured him. “But to get you some water and aspirin and a handy trash can. No hanky panky,” Blair laughed as Todd made a clumsy attempt at fondling her. “I’d forgotten how damn cute you are when you’re trashed.” She guided him into the house and slowly they made their way up the stairs, dripping all the way.

“I’d forgotten how hot you are when you’re yelling about the people you hate,” Todd mumbled. “I’d forgotten how much fun we used to have.”

“Me too,” Blair got him into a room near hers and let him flop onto the bed. She went into the bathroom and got a glass of water, some aspirin and a big towel. She got him to take the pill as she toweled his hair and body to get it a little drier. It wouldn’t matter too much. This was her house again and she didn’t mind Todd dampening up the bed.

She got him under the covers and suspected he was enjoying the way she took care of him.

“I’d forgotten, Blair,” he whispered, “how good you are to me. I held onto you for so long while they had me locked up and still forgot how good...”

“Remember this, Todd,” Blair leaned over him. “Remember this. It doesn’t all have to be revenge and destruction and anger. Please, sweetie,” she kissed him gently, “please remember to hold onto what’s good.”

In response, he pulled her down on top of him and wrapped his arms tightly around her. “I’m holding onto what’s good right now.”

Blair stayed, not fighting him, but he was soon drifting away into Scotch induced slumber and his arms slackened and fell away from her. She sat up next to him and brushed her fingers over his face, lingering on his lips before tracing the scar on his cheek. Her brow furrowed and she turned her attention to the one on his abdomen, thinking of the ones on her back.

“Seems that we just keep having more things that link us together,” she whispered. “Even our scars...” Blair got up and ran the towel over her hair and body. She hung the towel up in the bathroom and clicked off the light. A small shaft of moonlight cast a sliver of silver over Todd’s body on the bed. Blair shivered. It looked so like a knife stabbing at him...

She had intended on returning to her room but seeing that image she pulled back the covers and crawled into bed next to Todd, pressing against him protectively. She fought to carry on these past years without him even as she watched the man she believed to be him turn into someone she didn’t know. He’d fought to come home.

Neither one of them had stopped fighting over the years.

They had the scars to prove it.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Karen's Birthday Present 2009


She got paintings this year. Karen loves red-white-blue and Americana. This is quite out of my comfort zone but I wanted to give it a try and see what came out. I did three small paintings that were basically the same but the color schemes were... what follows.

The frills and trills of folk art was not something I'm particularly familiar with and while I wanted to see if I could do it I was more interested in seeing how my particular style worked within those parameters. I made mistakes and when I first did the white star on the blue background I mixed it too pink and had to do it over (and I'm so glad I did) but, all in all, I was very pleased with the result.

More importantly, Karen was, too.






Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Progression of a Housewarming Gift

When it came down to it, this one was all about the layers. The background as a clear blue didn't work for what I wanted so I made it all messed up and dark, cooler colors. I was going for an old fantasy forest feel and this put me where I wanted to be.


The next step was getting the trees in there to establish the 'path' I was trying to convey.


And then it became mostly about shading and establishing a sense of space and distance. I liked the idea of the light being in the distance drawing the eye back rather than being where the viewer stood.

More work on that front and really getting a sense of perspective in the pathway towards the light.



And the final result. The white tree in the front is meant to 'start' the journey on the lit pathway. I was very much inspired by the background work on Sleeping Beauty for this and the two that this was a gift for loved that movie so that was a bonus.



Some of the detail work:



Sunday, May 10, 2009

Spring Renewal

Old Spring wreath:



New Spring wreath:

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Works in Progress

I have two paintings I've been working on for years. Both have gone through changes. One has a specific vision, it's meant to be Daphne (of Greek mythology, not of Scooby Doo... although that does bring up an interesting image) and has not wavered in that vision (until just now apparently) and the only thing that keeps it from progressing is my own procrastination and my uncertainty about actual placement. It was too cartoony before, the pose of Daphne herself was unnatural, and it just wasn't coming together. So the background got repainted in bright orange to cover up what wasn't working. Daphne got curvier and her arms took on new positions that one might actually buy from a creature who is being turned from nymph to tree and there she remains.

The other painting has never had a strong vision. It started out as something completely random and shallow and then became a completely different painting when I realized I'd lost steam. It's vision now is... solid. It's just the working of it. And I think I may have made a breakthrough. When the first dramatic change came about it turned into a sea-scape. But the water of the ocean was all sharp edges and very geometric. I thought it was an interesting viewpoint to make water that way. I then did a sky with a sun that didn't work. I tried reflecting the sun in the sharp edged water and make the rays of the sun very geometric and primal in their own way and it just... wasn't happening.

It also didn't help when a friend claimed she saw a walrus climbing up a sunbeam to eat the sun. Not that art isn't subjective but that was so out of nowhere for me that it took me right out of the work.

I got rid of the sun.

My next attempt to make it work was to keep the sharp-edged ocean and balance it with a sky that was soft and smooth and had curves of wind carved into the colors. That... sort of worked. It was an idea I liked more, certainly. I remained uncertain as to whether or not sunlight should be put in to counteract the blues and greens and purples of the ocean and sky. What I was not pleased with was how the air didn't seem to jump out as much. This painting has been hanging in my apartment since I moved in. The purpose is for me to figure out what's wrong and fix it.

I think I've finally figure out what to do. Forget the sun. No sun. It will be sky and sea. The sky will be more organic but I'll be able to use as many colors as I wish... still leaning towards blues and purples but with a more sweeping turn and grand use of color. Subtlety, I think, will not work here. The ocean will still be sharp edges and 'harder' but will reflect the sky.

So, for this, I have a vision at last and I think it's one that will actually work. Took me long enough.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Oh but it has been awhile...

So after a long hiatus of holidays followed up by a computer meltdown I'm able to post again.

The work I'm posting today was another present. This one went to my youngest sister, Jessi, for Christmas. It's interesting... when you tell people you're painting a present for someone the response I get is generally "When do I get a painting?!"

So my list of presents has grown. It's just a question of what and how. My other sister likes Americana and I have some ideas as to what to create for her... something red, white and blue with stars and stripes but with an aged and weathered look to it. It bears thought.

In the meantime, this is what I created for Jess.


Jess loves purple. So I did the background in varying layers of tone. It makes the background more interesting instead of a solid color block and this is a fairly simple painting so I wanted some variety of texture.

The branches I added deeper and more vibrant color as lowlights. With the background being a shade of purple that skies are usually not, I went with a similar theme with the coloring of the branches.

The cherry blossoms I kept as simple as possible. I thought it was a more interesting counterpoint to the textures of the background and the branches. Too much detail made it all look way too busy. I did attempt to add detail to the blossoms but it just made everything feel weighted down. The plain pink gives it a graphic touch and I like the way it turned out. Plus, I was able to add some visual interest with the splatter effects in the same pink (watered down a great deal.)

This was a tempting painting in that I kind of wanted to keep it for myself once I was done with it. I had an idea of what I wanted to create and this did not skew very far from that so I was particularly pleased with that.

A success.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Oh, the Mystery!




People love this painting. I've never been fond of it myself. I think it looks slapdash and not particularly interesting. This is a prime example of art being subjective.

This was the second project in my painting class. We were to take architectural elements from various magazines and then put them together in a sort of abstract way. We were also supposed to divide the painting into three areas. One area would be predominantly warm colors, one predominately cool and the third a fairly even mixture.

The architectural elements you can probably see right away are the drapery and the stairs curving down into a foyer. There's also a counter-top, rosette decorations and a circular window. Keep in mind, this isn't supposed to be an exact representation of a room. It's a lot of elements put together to make an interesting montage.


The other thing about this painting was that several classmates suggested that this assignment really solidified the 'styles' of a lot of the students. I was singled out as one such due to my brush strokes and use of color. I made my colors more dusty and muted with this one to mix things up from the last time around and got some really beautiful hues.


My instructor loved this part of the painting. The vertical lines of all the different colors. She complimented the way I made the colors work. I admit I didn't put a hell of a lot of thought into it I just kind of went with what I thought would work. Since it turned out well, I guess I did all right.

As sneaky as I was with the first painting by mixing three of the same colors together to get the brightness I was going for, I really did take this opportunity to stretch myself as far as mixing went. The dusty rose color, the mustard yellow and the mossy greens turned out gorgeous.


It's not an awful painting in my mind, I've just never understood why so many people in the art department saw something extraordinary in it. I had missed two classes due to illness so a lot of this was me playing catch-up which is why I look at it as so sloppy and half made. There are interesting elements to it and things I like but, at the same time, I think I've done work far better than this.